Tales From a British-Wannabe

Le Speech for Rachel and Joelle.

• J: Hey, I bet I could beat you in a Sarcasm Face Off.
• R: A what?
• J: *sigh* This is pointless. Your brain is obviously too stupid to understand the sophistication of the world we live in, therefore making you too dumb to know and understand the beauty of sarcasm.
• R: Say what now? *facepalm* Look, just because you're Asian doesn't mean you have to act like one.
• J: Well, if you want to be all stereotypical, you being blonde doesn't help too much with the size of your brain.
• R: Enough about me being blonde. Oh, and who uses the word "therefore" anymore?
• J: Well apparently only the smart people, and would you focus? If I remember correctly, I started out by asking you about a Sarcasm Face Off.
• R: Well, for your information, I am focusing, unlike you are.
• J: What? How?
• R: OMG! ONE DIRECTION! OVER THERE! BEHIND THAT FLYING PIG!
• J: WHAT? WHERE? WHERE'S THE FLYING PIG? LOUIS? NIALL? LIAM? ZAYN? HARRY? WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUU?!?!?!?!?!?!? *spaz out*
• R: *snicker quietly* I do believe that this battle has been won.
• J: Oh, you dirty-blonde-haired girl. I see what you did there.
• R: And guess who fell for it! OH! THAT'S RIGHT! *point at Joelle* YOU! You gullible little Asian. *take J's head in your arms* Poor, stupid, helpless little Joelle. *whisper loudly* Can never take a loss seriously.
• J: How did I become stupid?
• R: *speak to audience* She's being a bit delusional isn't she. I'm sorry you have to witness this.
• J: Am not! It's not my fault you brought One Direction into this conversation! I thought you knew my weakness.
• R: So.. does that mean you're accepting your loss or not?
• J: Never accept defeat. Rachel, you win.
• R: Wait, wha?
• J: *cup hand behind ear* Wait, do you hear that?
• R: Are you being delusion-
• J: I hear a cry for help! SUPERMAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!!!! *whip out cape, and run off stage*